Blind Date on My Island

TTTO “Blind Date on the Island of Dr. Moreau” by Brooke Lunderville

I watch you sleep there next to me

This does not happen to me often

I fall alseep and dream about our future

Specifically, on how you escape this coffin

I was a bit rough,

You called the police off-

icers, and I fear it’s too late

To continue our date

[Chorus]

I saw an ad: Sexy scientist seeks Mr. Right

For romantic walks on the beach and labwork late in to the night

I rushed to reply to that online ad that I saw

I don’t wish to get my hopes up, and by so doing invoke Murphy’s law

I know there are so many spammers on Craig’s list who’re baiting

So here it goes, I’ll dip my toes into this “online dating”

I knew that you’re into chemistry

And this, I’m happy to say, I know best

So I showed you just how with acid’s I’m skilled

And tried to woo you with a litmus test

As I prepared to meet you

I hoped that you’d be sweet but,

You taste a lot like mussel

Eating you was just a hassle

[Chorus]

So guys if you meet a girl who

Seems sweet but has a friend with a chainsaw

Tell her the two of you are through

But could you ask her friend to go out?

And just take out the LART

No, really, use the LART

And enjoy a night of terror

Just do not repeat my error

[Chorus]

I saw an ad: Sexy scientist seeks Mr. Right

For romantic walks on the beach and labwork late in to the night

I rushed to reply to that online ad that I saw

I guess I got my hopes up, and by so doing invoked Murphy’s law

I knew there are so many spammers on Craig’s list who’re baiting

And so it went, not how I meant, this deal with “online dating”

Well maybe I’ll destroy the world…