Banned From PyCon

TTTO “Banned from Argo” by Leslie Fish

When we arrived in PyCon, we saw all the Python stars
Sitting and conversing in the hotel lounge bar
We had high expectations of their hospitality
But found too late it wasn’t geared for hackers such as we

And we’re banned from PyCon, that’s too bad
Banned from PyCon, and the lot of us are sad
Tutorials and sprints, and open spaces – we want more
But PyCon just won’t let us in the door

Though Python’s pretty simple, we all want it more complex
We wrote a PEP describing a new method – __sex__ (Prounounced “under-sex”)
They told us it’s no good, and that it doesn’t stand a chance
Especially the part where we proposed __romance__

We all like drinking beers, and we all like to share them too
Bought round after round for the whole commiter crew
The team had started coding when the bar announced “last call”
It might explain the errors when I try the new install

Python’s quite high-level, so we thought it wasn’t green
To write Python in Python – oh, please, really, it’s obscene
Now the PyPy bunch is after us, we’re much the worst for wear
Italian, Dutch and Polish – in all those they know to swear!

We asked a simple question, “Why Mercurial, not Bazaar”
“From features that we needed it just doesn’t seem to far”
“Or Git, or SVN, or something else without a doubt!”
So all the core commiters beat us up and kicked us out

We asked around, because we saw that nobody quite gets
The proper way of using Twisted writing programs net-
working, so we said “we’ll just redo it, to be clean”
The will is there but the code is not, our blog’s what people’ve seen

We love to love humanity, we love the peace and quiet
But we could not pass up the chance to incite Perl 6 to riot
And so they challenged Guido, and the rest is history–
With pies that fly about as we sat and drunk our tea

We love to use the wireless, and the wireless loves us too
But only when it’s tummy doing what they know to do
For otherwise the networking won’t work, yes, such is life
6 gadgets for each geek will make the air with wi-fi rife

A bunch of Ruby people and nobody seemed to care
They came in for our summit, but we wondered how they dare
We made some fun of RoR but they don’t want to play
So when they started the stampede we turned and ran away

We like to code in Python and this hobby we don’t hide
And having fun in PyCon was a joyful funny ride
We’re sorry ‘bout the trouble, didn’t mean to cause a fuss
At least we’re sure that PyCon won’t be quick forgetting us