Cow’s Song

The first three verses scan to “Purple Cow” (it’s a poem, not a song), and the rest are TTTO “Mal’s Song”.

It’s kind of a weird cross-over between firefly and the purple cow. And the plot of “Cows with guns”

Yeah, insanity rules here.

I’ve never met a purple cow

I wouldn’t want to milk it

But I can tell you here and now

Its humour, I can bilk it

A purple cow is a beast

Which sane minds cannot deal with

But, you see, to say the least

They are quite the ideal myth

For purple cows are quite rare

Their skin as smooth as silk is

And when to parody we dare

Well, you will know what filk is

When the purple cows are featured in song

Well, the sane men hearing flee in fear

Well you can hope and pray that it won’t be long

Or you can dull the pain by drinking some beer

There’s a certain rhyme you’ll never forget

Though you heard it often, so it’s now a bore

There’s a parody, and another one then

As though the first one opened the door

But I can’t resist so I’ll write one more

One which is filled by blood and gore

[Chorus]

Take the cow, take it far

So my sight it will not mar

But if not, then please let me

Avoid the purple one to be

Take the cow into the black

And avoid to bring them back

Make sure that I will not see

You can’t force me one to be

You can’t force me one to be

When you take a cow, and make it abort

And the fetus put in formaldehyde

You can me it look like an alien

But from the doctor, you cannot hide

I think it shows that the cows here

Gonna take what’s ours and tear us through

So please prepare for the war ahead

For if we fail, this day we’ll rue

Let me tell you now what we must do

Please make the cows run from you

[Chorus]

When they all got guns, we’ll run for our lives

For the fight ahead, I’ll not bet on men

You’ll know damn well why I want to keep to my sky

To keep the chickens in copters from coming again

I’ve seen the cows rise and take up arms

Seen sane men flee from the purple ones

We’re trying hard to make our stand

But we’re gonna lose to cows with guns

‘Tis the tale we’re gonna tell our suns

The steaks are higher than our puns

[Chorus]