Cow’s Song

The first three verses scan to “Purple Cow” (it’s a poem, not a song), and the rest are TTTO “Mal’s Song”.

It’s kind of a weird cross-over between firefly and the purple cow. And the plot of “Cows with guns”

Yeah, insanity rules here.

I’ve never met a purple cow
I wouldn’t want to milk it
But I can tell you here and now
Its humour, I can bilk it

A purple cow is a beast
Which sane minds cannot deal with
But, you see, to say the least
They are quite the ideal myth

For purple cows are quite rare
Their skin as smooth as silk is
And when to parody we dare
Well, you will know what filk is

When the purple cows are featured in song
Well, the sane men hearing flee in fear
Well you can hope and pray that it won’t be long
Or you can dull the pain by drinking some beer
There’s a certain rhyme you’ll never forget
Though you heard it often, so it’s now a bore
There’s a parody, and another one then
As though the first one opened the door
But I can’t resist so I’ll write one more
One which is filled by blood and gore

Take the cow, take it far
So my sight it will not mar
But if not, then please let me
Avoid the purple one to be
Take the cow into the black
And avoid to bring them back
Make sure that I will not see
You can’t force me one to be
You can’t force me one to be

When you take a cow, and make it abort
And the fetus put in formaldehyde
You can me it look like an alien
But from the doctor, you cannot hide
I think it shows that the cows here
Gonna take what’s ours and tear us through
So please prepare for the war ahead
For if we fail, this day we’ll rue
Let me tell you now what we must do
Please make the cows run from you


When they all got guns, we’ll run for our lives
For the fight ahead, I’ll not bet on men
You’ll know damn well why I want to keep to my sky
To keep the chickens in copters from coming again
I’ve seen the cows rise and take up arms
Seen sane men flee from the purple ones
We’re trying hard to make our stand
But we’re gonna lose to cows with guns
‘Tis the tale we’re gonna tell our suns
The steaks are higher than our puns