Nokia

TTTO of “IKEA” by Jonathan Coulton

Long ago in days of yore

It all began with a phone before

There were Androids in phones

And the iPhone had an app store

There were no apps, hardly at all

And they sold phones for hands that are smaller than mine

As there were hands that are smaller than mine

[Chorus]

Nokia: Simple phones that were made by a handful of Norsemen

Nokia: For the “oh, you know, it can be better when worse” men

Everyone has a phone

But if you don’t have a phone you can buy from them

So don’t debate and don’t discuss

Lay your cash down and put your trust

In the land where the phones are all made in a much smaller size

The thirty-one-hundred says hello

And so does the one called five oh oh oh

And the thirty-five-fifty-five folds and his friends call him Karl

[Chorus]

Nokia: plastic, brushed steel

Nokia: hardy, good deals

Nokia: batteries

All of them last long

All of them belong

I’m sorry I said Nokia sucks

I just bought a smartphone for 60 bucks

And a handset (bluetooth)

And a charger for cars, so I can call there too

I was a doubter just like you

Till I saw the American dream come true

In Verizon they got a goddammed Finnish parade

[Chorus]