TTTO of “IKEA” by Jonathan Coulton

Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a phone before
There were Androids in phones
And the iPhone had an app store
There were no apps, hardly at all
And they sold phones for hands that are smaller than mine
As there were hands that are smaller than mine

Nokia: Simple phones that were made by a handful of Norsemen
Nokia: For the “oh, you know, it can be better when worse” men
Everyone has a phone
But if you don’t have a phone you can buy from them

So don’t debate and don’t discuss
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the phones are all made in a much smaller size
The thirty-one-hundred says hello
And so does the one called five oh oh oh
And the thirty-five-fifty-five folds and his friends call him Karl


Nokia: plastic, brushed steel
Nokia: hardy, good deals
Nokia: batteries
All of them last long
All of them belong

I’m sorry I said Nokia sucks
I just bought a smartphone for 60 bucks
And a handset (bluetooth)
And a charger for cars, so I can call there too
I was a doubter just like you
Till I saw the American dream come true
In Verizon they got a goddammed Finnish parade