If I Had a Brother

I wanted to tell the story of Robin Hood from the point of view of King Richard’s brother, left at home to manage the country.

TTTO “If I Had a Boat”

If I had a bro’
Who’d rule this goddamn country
And if he had a throne
To rule this country from
And we could all together
Live in this great country
Leading it to greatness in the world

If there were a robber
I would go out and stop him
I couldn’t bring myself to letting him go free
And though he helps the poor
He helps them cheat on taxes
And taxes help the country, I’m sure you will agree


My brother went to the crusade
He got himself religion
Neglected home and country, sailed off with not a glance
And if this country’s lucky
He’ll not come back to haunt it
Kiss my ass I rule here now
You’ll die upon a lance


And if I could just rule here
And get my freakin’ taxes
I think that I could do much, this country I’d improve
But they’re scared of Robin Hood and
They’re scared of all my taxes
And I really need this money now, though you disapprove