Never Set Tom Cruise on Fire

In honor of “protest against Scientology” day, I’m doing my bit the best I know how – by poking fun at them.

TTTO “Never set the cat on fire”

Never set Tom Cruise on fire, you only will annoy him

And though he does so raise your ire, this surely won’t destroy him

Much better is to mock his stance, scientology is no advance

No, never set Tom Cruise on fire

Refrain:

And L. Ron Hubbard, these fools, to one, this man admire

And never set Tom Cruise on fire

Dianetics is a foolish thing, so please be sure to leave it

For once you have no sanity, you never will retrieve it

And though you think your life’s a mess, remember it has no success

Dianetics is a foolish thing

[Refrain]

Don’t believe their so-called data, it has now been refuted

It’s spouted off by mindless drones, some criticisms muted

They don’t want you to know what’s true, for with your mind they want to screw

Don’t believe their so-called data

[Refrain]

Don’t convert to this belief, it has no helpful uses

When someone asks you ‘what’s it for?’, you’ll only make excuses

For some real people have been hurt, I’m asking you to be alert!

Don’t convert to this belief

[Refrain]

[Refrain]