I Have to Bill You Now

TTTO “I Have to Kill You Now” by Carla Ulbrich

It was late in the evening,

I was tired, I was ill

I was feeling really groggy,

You took advantage of good will

So you called and we talked for 5 hours

I still remember everything

And before I hung up the phone

I do remember saying

[Chorus]

I have to bill you now

Free advice I can’t allow

You’ll have to pay somehow

I have to bill you now

I could speculate

That this bill will not be paid

If that’s the case, expect a raid

For every hour, that’s my rate

And this is, I think, is where we’re at

Though you’re shocked, I am at ease

If you come into my lab

I will put you on the slab

[Chorus]

I have to bill you now

Free advice I can’t allow

I ain’t a communist, this ain’t Moscow

I have to bill you now

It’s a way some people see me,

This is really serious,

All nice and easy going

Not at all imperious,

What you do is past the border

Of abusing my phone number

So I’m doing this in order

That I will be left to slumber

[Chorus]

I have to bill you now

Free advice I can’t allow

When you get it, you’ll say “ow”

I have to bill you now

So you wonder, did I bill him?

Could this trick be used by you?

I can talk more of these things

But then I’d have to bill you too

[Chorus]

I have to bill you now

Free advice I can’t allow

It’s good advice, so anyhow

I have to bill you now